One casualty of Twitter: after going through a surprisingly smooth time /w Xxxxx -- after reading some of my stuff on twitter -- which I encouraged her to do... she got pissed-off at what I wrote, and even dropped out of the wedding we were set to attend on Aug 9.

And when she goes into one of these shut-down modes -- she renders herself impervious to my ability to persuade :) -- whereas Yyyy would notify me that she is filtering all my email into a dark folder -- Xxxxx will cut me off completely from any form of communication. Emails aren't filtered for a possible later reading, they are bounced back.

In a funny way, I find this both frustrating and flattering -- as if I can bend a spoon with my thoughts alone -- as if the mere act of agreeing to engage in a dialogue with me -- has already sealed their fate, and so the only viable strategy is to cut themselves off completely, else risk that I'll unlock their feelings from the inside -- like a monstrous tractor beam, part science fiction, which first targets, then draws their inner feelings out, from the cage of their external defenses. Like a reptile shedding her skin, except that -- I'm a midwife to this process,  And then when they look in the mirror, their new self will appear foreign to what they see now, and the Ego (which worships and conserves the "Now") will find this new, less dissonant female, terrifying -- "...the statue has changed somehow!" -- for change itself, regardless of what direction it takes, Is terrifying to worshipers of the "Now".

Because the "Now" has modeled it's promise of tranquility, on the Rock-Garden, which unlike desire, has no moisture or climate -- it's promise of tranquility is implemented as a "Sleep Without Dreams":)

And when the woman of the "Now", fashions herself a Man from one of her ribs, as soon a the celebration of this new invention is over, she becomes bored with her creation, for when a man is 'Fixed' in this fashion, he no longer inspires fear, and therefore cannot directly excite, and at best, this type of man becomes a convoluted form of masturbation -- that also pays the rent! :)

But a contempt slowly builds over this man of her own design, even if he continues to provide the diversionary masturbation and  -- of course -- stills pays rent :) --  because a fertile spirit cannot realize her purpose -- with a yang so 'peaceful', i.e. so spiritually barren :(

So I understand why, after achieving a certain level of intimacy with me, Xxxxx realizes that relationships of this type cannot stand still. But because she lacks insight into her motives, so she continually tries to use her older weapons, to mold me into this lesser form of man, as she has in the past with others.

She doesn't realize that there is a third path, where sometimes your greatest potential is realized, not as a leader, but as a follower :) 

The funny thing though, she did it again: she keeps pushing me in the same direction...
...she said that what you really should do is ask Yyyy to the wedding :)

When I first heard those words, coming from her mouth: they made no sense to me at all.

So perhaps for that reason alone -- I will :)

<i better stop now, before I devolve this conversation into what usually happens when I write, as of late, a reexamination of my initial assumptions about the allegory of Eden :) >